"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub."
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
"Never have more children than you have car windows."
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."
